英语小故事1：好消息和坏消息（Good News And Bad News）
"There's good news and bad news," the porce lawyer told his client.
"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement." "And the bad news?" "After the porce, she's marrying your father."
英语小故事2：新老师（The New Teacher）
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..."
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
If you can't fly,then run; if you can't run ,then walk; if you can't walk,then crawl,but whatever you do,you have to keep moving forward.
英语小故事5：谁最懒（Who Is the Laziest）
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.